While it is helpful to reflect on things that have happened, there is a fine line between reflecting and dwelling on things.
In the past I have worked myself up into a bad mood due to dwelling over the smallest of things.
One time I was at the supermarket and a man knocked into me with his trolley. He didn’t acknowledge it, no apologetic smile, nothing. I walked on tutting to myself.
I’d like to say that was the end of that, but it wasn’t. While I shopped, my brain replayed that little incident.
He could have at least said sorry
He looked right through me
Chivalry is dead
What if I had been injured?
Gosh, I’d hate see what he’s like operating an actual vehicle!
I finished shopping, got home and unpacked, and I was still annoyed.
I had created and played out so many different versions in my head.
The one where he apologised
The one where I called him out and then he apologised
The one where the other shoppers jumped to my rescue and insisted that he apologise
I just wanted him to have said sorry, that’s what was bothering me.
I’m sure he wasn’t thinking about the fabulous woman he mowed down with his shopping trolley…because the reality was a little different.
There was no shopping trolley pile up. His trolley happened to nudge me a tiny bit, in a busy supermarket full of people and trolleys. It happens all the time, and no one was hurt.
DON’T MAKE A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL
Had I have taken a breath and checked in with myself at the time, I would have realised that, and just let it go.
We often make things into a much bigger deal than they really are depending on how long we hold on to it, the negative impact on our wellbeing grows. I now make a conscious effort to notice when I am dwelling on things and rationalise my thinking by asking myself “can I change it? Has it really affected me?”
If the answer to both is no then I move on to other things. I get on with my day.By the time I’m done, I’m usually over it.
If this story sounds all too familiar to you, I hope this has been useful.
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Thank you for reading.